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Our Guide to Grinders: Exquisite External Stimulators

Several grinder toys on a window shelf in Aphrodisia Boutique


What the heck is a grinder sex toy, and how do you use one? Many people haven't even heard of these remarkably simple yet innovative and unconventional toys. We're here to demystify grinders - in this post, we'll cover:

  • What grinder toys are

  • Who can enjoy grinders

  • Different types of grinders

  • Some creative ways to use grinders

What are grinder toys?

Grinder toys are designed for external stimulation (they are not usually designed to be inserted). They have textured surfaces that feel good when you move, rub or grind against them, applying pressure.

Grinders are usually made from soft material that has some 'squish' to it. This means that you can comfortably apply a lot of pressure to the grinder to get the stimulation you want. Be sure to look for grinders made of body-safe silicone - other soft materials like TPE or jelly rubber and porous and potentially toxic. See our guide to body-safe sex toys for more information.

Who can enjoy grinders?

  • Anyone of any gender or orientation can enjoy grinders!

  • Many grinders are designed specifically for external clitoral stimulation, making them especially suitable for those with vulvas.

  • People with penises can also enjoy grinders, for penile or perineum stimulation.

  • You can use a grinder during solo play, or with a partner (see Ways to use grinders below for tips!)

Types of grinders

Close up photo of several grinders on shelf at Aphrodisia Boutique

  • Manual grinders like the Uberrime Alia are unpowered and provide stimulation when you apply pressure and move your body against them.

  • Vibrating grinders like the Cute Little Fuckers Starsi and the Pom by Dame are also designed to be grinded against, but provide additional stimulation with vibration.

  • Some grinders like the Banana Pants BumpHer and Lippi can also be used as dildo bases. This provides additional vulva stimulation for a person who is wearing a strap-on dildo.

  • Grinders can vary a lot in shape. Some are narrow, like the Rocks Off Ruby Glow Blush and others are broad pads designed for sitting on, like the VibePad. Which shape is best? That depends on how you prefer to use your grinder...

Ways to use grinders

Here are some ideas for how to get the most out of your grinder toy:

  • Place the grinder on a chair and sit on the chair either in a normal sitting position or in a straddle, then move, grind, wiggle or rock against it to find what feels good.This method works with any type of grinder. Some grinders can be strapped down for extra stability.

  • If the chair method is not accessible to you or you're feeling lazy, try propping up the grinder on a pillow in bed and scooting your hips to meet it. Prop your upper body up to provide additional pressure on the grinder.

  • Use your hands to rub a smaller grinder like the Starsi against yourself, in any position you prefer such as laying on your back.

  • If you have a narrow grinder such as the Ruby Glow Blush, try lying on your side and squeezing the grinder between your thighs, rocking your pelvis.

  • Smaller grinders like the Pom can be placed in your underwear and used like a panty vibe.

  • Strap the grinder on to your partner's thigh or pelvis and grind against them.

Feel free to experiment and see what works best for you! Grinders are an amazing and versatile toy for those who enjoy external stimulation, and can add a new dimension to your sexual experiences.

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